Church in the Wild

This is an excerpt from the parable of the frog and the scorpion.

“Hellooo Mr. Frog!” called the scorpion across the water, “Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?”

“Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?” asked the frog hesitantly.

“Because,” the scorpion replied, “If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!”

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. “What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!”

“This is true,” agreed the scorpion, “But then I wouldn’t be able to get to the other side of the river!”

“Alright then…how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?” said the frog.

“Ahh…,” crooned the scorpion, “Because you see, once you’ve taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!”

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog’s back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog’s soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog’s back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

“You fool!” croaked the frog, “Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?”

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog’s back.

“I could not help myself. It is my nature.”

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

This story has always struck me as interesting because it is so applicable to different aspects of our lives. Today I am going to talk about it in the context of bad relationships. I was listening to the radio and I heard Mary J. Blige sing “Bad boys ain’t no good…good boys ain’t no fun.” I hate that phrase and I hate that so many women chase after bad boys just because they think that they are more intriguing and more interesting. Maybe I hate it because I have always been the good guy, but I also hate it because it defies all logic and common sense and I am not one for doing things that I can see the outcome of if I know it is negative. I know that guys are guilty of the same thing. Many times we would have the woman who will give out sexually than the woman that is attempting to be wholesome and date the proper way (by waiting for marriage). Maybe it is because deep down we know we aren’t going to be their husband so their is no point for us to wait, but that in itself is another blog post. 

I chose to put the parable at the top because it is the same thing that happens with so many girls and guys. We chose someone that we know is not good for us and we forsake the things that would be beneficial for us in the name of  “having fun” or“seizing the moment” or “being young” or the newest colloquialism “YOLO”. The sad part is that most of the time girls want to try and change the men that they are having fun with into husband material. They want to make him into a man with husband credentials while still maintaining his wild side, but a scorpion’s nature will always be to sting. So no matter how sweet his words are and no matter what excuse he gives you, at the end of the day he WILL sting you, because that is what he does. I tell women all the time that what they should really do is try to date a good man and if he is a little uptight then you can help him loosen up a little and release some inhibitions. But this man is not a scorpion so his nature is not inclined to hurt you. You can have it all, but attempting to make a fool into husband material is not the way. Most of these men have all kinds of reasons why they wouldn’t do to you what they did in the past. Either you are different or they have changed or their past girlfriends were to blame, but in the end the truth is that they are a no good scorpion and they have to sting at some point. 

Most men fall into the same trap. We ignore the women that are the best for us and chase the girl with the bigger butt or whatever asset it is that we are fond of. We are sometimes attracted to girls with promiscuous tendencies. To be honest the problem for most men is that they are looking for their own personal porn star. They want a woman who looks like the women they see in porn and they want them to do the things that those women do. So good girls usually get thrown by the wayside. We want the girls we can “have fun with.” These bad girls are no good for us though. They usually have low moral standards which completely screws with the willpower of even the best man because some girls couldn’t care less that we have a girlfriend. All they want is what is between our legs and because men are attracted to that raw sexuality it causes us to do things and chase women that we do not need in our lives. These women are also scorpions though. They don’t sting in the same way male scorpions do, but they do sting. They will try to put you on blast in public if you anger them. If you are cheating on your girlfriend with them they will snitch on you if you provoke them. They take delight in the fact that you are cheating on your girlfriend for them. It turns them on and they will even try to do things that makes you disrespect your girlfriend because it gives them a rush. And they are often still jealous and emotional which is never a good combination when dealing with secrets. Lately men have given up leaving the side chick on the sideline and have begun trying to make them wife material. The old saying stands true “You cannot turn a ho into a housewife”. If she will cheat with you then she will cheat on you! She won’t think twice about it either. They often see unhappiness in a relationship as a legitimate reason to fool around. My advice to men is simple. Stop being so driven by sexual desires and fantasies. Look past breasts and butts and look for a woman that is actually going to better you in life. All those assets that we love so much are going to fall and be hanging on the floor one day. Will you feel the same way about your woman then? Look for the girl that makes you better as a man. And if you already have a good girl, don’t cheat on her. Let her be all that you need. I’m sure you don’t want her out there sleeping with men because you aren’t good enough for her. Men we know that our egos couldn’t handle that, so why put a woman through it? I advised the women to get a good man and help him loosen up, but men I encourage you to adapt to the good women. Don’t try to change them. Allow them to be what they are. Maybe you need to calm down a little. It’s called maturity, and most men are lacking it.

Stop messing with scorpions. They are intriguing animals. They have so much power packed inside of them. They are dangerous and look cool, but at the end of the day their nature is to sting and kill. That is what they do and they cannot turn that off. You are not the exception or the special case. Look for the person that is good for you, not the person that looks good to you. Stop choosing the person that you can have fun with for a short time and choose the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Contrary to what you are told, you are not supposed to be wild just because you are young. You aren’t supposed to be purposefully making mistakes and dating bad people. That isn’t what God desires for his children. We are supposed to be looking for the person that God has for us. If you cannot see yourself with a person for the rest of your life then why would you date them? To have fun? That is a waste of time. You could be having fun with your soulmate. If you are afraid of feeling tied down then you have a lot of growing and understanding to do. Commitment issues are a trick of the devil to keep us from what God has for us. It is a distraction that keeps us wandering in ignorance.